My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
