Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
