***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
