The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
