Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
