omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
