you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im six kinds of drunk right now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
