Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry curlersinherhair hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you

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(330): View more from Ohio

I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.

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