just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
