THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
