coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
