Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize