if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
