The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
