You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
