dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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