I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
