6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
