Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
