Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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