I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
