whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
