Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
