I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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