So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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