Betty ford says i'm here all night
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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