super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
