can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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