i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
