Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
