i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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