Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
