Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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