You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
