at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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