I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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