My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
