I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize