I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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