ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
