we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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