please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
