that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
