I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
