I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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