did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
