I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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