I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Randomize