we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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