4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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