gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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