How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
