Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize