i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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