sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
