the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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