So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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