I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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