Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
