I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize