I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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