Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
