Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
