Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
