I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
