Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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