I just saw a hot homeless man
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
