he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
