I hope mine doesn't look like that
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
