Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
