He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
