KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
