So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ketchup is God's man juice
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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