I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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