the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
