you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That reminds me...we need to get swords
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
