i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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