I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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